Writing about birth.

…

I was at a friend’s house, only a few minutes ago, a good close friend.  She had delivered her baby only a couple of hours ago.  The baby was birthed by her, her partner, and support of two midwives and family.  Born into water, as the birth took place in a large water tub.

I’m really speechless, it has been a long time since wrote …

February 16th 2009

After a long day at work on the 15th I only went to bed at 2am.  Twice during the night I wake up and rolled over to my open computer to see if I had received info on whether the baby was being born or not.  Sleep was good though and at 6/7 am I was finding myself totally awake in bed.  In high spirits, singing random made-up songs, I got out of bed, had some water, a nice shower and left the house.  The air was different and it stopped me at the steps, I walked slowly and took my time starting up the bike.  The most significant thing were the birds.  Hundreds of them.  The days had been rainy, drizzly, unpredictable until this morning.  This morning was crisp and hundreds of birds swarmed from one tree to the next.  I had not received an email about the birth but the signs were so striking…  I continued singing out loud, looking forward to seeing the new mother.

It was 3pm when I made it over to the house.

I don’t know what to say about the experience.  Or how to describe it really…   How to describe what it felt like to see my friend’s face, exhausted and happy, holding a baby – her baby.  How did I feel when in the presence of this new family, her, the baby, and her partner? I’ve been reading up on birthing for a few months now, reading and watching dvds over and over; fascinated by birthing, fascinated by the topic of hospital vs homebirthing.  When I was at the house I was blown away by … by IT.  By the what is happening there, not happening, nothing was happening but yet the happening in the place was overwhelming.  I mean, I knew I hadn’t seen a birth before (and this still wasn’t the time) and that I hadn’t seen a really really young baby in real life… but how different could it be from watching so many movies.  Don’t movies allow the body/mind to live the experience to a certain degree….
I’m blown away.

I rode the bike to my office, where I sit now, and my mind and my body and my spirit are so quiet.  Tears came to my eyes, that lump in the throat…

I’m blown away by presencing this new life.

I want to step up and embrace the world even more than before.  To step up my involvement in the world even more.  Yet, I know that that is not done by making/doing more things.
Part of me wants to buy presents, send gifts, find that special gift… and yet that is what I have been doing for so long, and recently shifted to simply being and sharing my presence.  Now it’s all confused.  Do more?  Do less?  Do?  Perhaps this birth has called out to my self and it is writhing with a want for birth too.  Perhaps.
This world cannot contain a life.  Contain as in containment.

Birth.  Birth ladies and gentlemen.
Is there a feeling to ascribe to seeing my friend’s belly grow and grow and grow and then see this baby…  Simply awe.
I want to do a pilgrimage for this baby.  A fast…

I’m a little overwhelmed right now.